MELLOW JOHNNYS

I am so sick of this high and mighty bike shop bullshit.
It isn’t fair that just because this shop specializes in Lance Armstrong wanna be fucks who can take their bike apart shove it up their asses and put it back together themselves means that I get shitty service because all I want is my tube changed and these guys have the tools and stand where they can do it faster than I can.
Plus I’m sick of paying for it. I don’t want to spend $20 bucks so that I can get a tube that’s worth $5 and you upcharge me on labor because you think helping me out is a waste of your fucking time.
I hate this place, and the only reason I ever went to Mellow Johnny’s was because it is two blocks from my job and the most convenient when I have a flat. Well today was the last time I will ever step foot in that store.
Those pricks that work there are so demeaning and make me feel like a complete ass because I ride a single speed hip bike and I don’t feel like changing my own tire when I get off of work.
They always make me feel stupid, but today was the worst experience I have had there.

DAVE (cuz I don’t give a shit if he reads this or not) told me where to find the tires. I grabbed one from downstairs, came back up and he checked out my wheel for me after I was checking to see if my tube had a hole. He told me that my tires were shot and my wheelset is cheap. I said okay and paid for the tire. I was trying so hard to avoid this shitty attitude I knew to expect from these employees so I asked to use the bike pump and was working on putting on the tire myself. Dave had nothing better to do apparently and said, yeah new tires can be difficult, let me do it. So I handed him the wheel tube and tire and he started working on it. He was almost done when he saw a customer wandering and just as another employee came up to help, Dave set my wheel down (almost finished) and looked at me and sternly said, “Uhm. I’m  going to have to get back to this.” Like I was just some piece of shit little kid that needed his shoes tied. Then Dave figured out the customer didn’t need help, came back and finished putting the tire on my bike. I was watching him the whole time to see if he had any tricks. So Dave finishes, pumps it full of air, the whole process took about 4 minutes, and then hands me back the wheel. I say, Thanks a lot I really appreciate it, and Dave ROLLS HIS FUCKING EYES in my face and turns around immediately. I mumbled a “dickhead” as I walked out the door, but I’m sure he didn’t hear it, nor would he seem to care.

This is bullshit. Just because this shop is owned by a hasbeen bike racer and all the employees used to be bike messengers in NY or who the fuck cares doesn’t mean I deserve this kind of treatment AT ALL. Maybe if I was blonde and tall with my tits hanging out, bike grease on my face, covered head to toe in tattoos and smell like lonestar and shame, MAYBE I would get some respect. But I doubt it. I probably would still be treated like an idiot. What I really needed was a tiny dick and some clips and a random piece off of my Trek Madone that I was looking for then I would get some respect. Those bastards work in a bike shop. YOUR JOB IS TO FIX A FUCKING BIKE. Not pass judgement on a 20 something girl that just needs a new fucking tire and 5 minutes of your time. Go suck your own dick Mellow Johnny’s employees, or maybe since he has nothing better to do- have Lance suck it for you.

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